Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
