There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
no, he came in my armpit
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
