There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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