Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
