were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
