My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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