I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Alive.
So much puke
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
