i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
