It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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