he wants to bone in the snuggie
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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