just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize