I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
