Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
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I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
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I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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