is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize