Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it's like heaven, but drunker
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
