she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
