Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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