Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
