ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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