I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
