Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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