I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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