There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
