I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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