Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize