What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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