some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize