She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
