Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
