ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
