dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
