Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize