According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
