Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it's great music for shaving your balls
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
