yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
