she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think my moral compass just broke
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize