Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
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Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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