Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
