dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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