just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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