You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
