we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
