Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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