Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
