i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
