Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
