I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
