your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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