In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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