Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
