My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
