if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
