i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
