Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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