I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
