I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
COCAINE IS GR8
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
