o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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