It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize